Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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