So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He? As in you personified your dick?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize