Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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