It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
