I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
