Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love having hate sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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