so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
