the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
