Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
