It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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