Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Alive.
So much puke
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This is classic penis vs brain.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
