Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
