Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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