Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
