This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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