wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
