my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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