I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
