Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
