I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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