we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
