guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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