I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
