Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
