She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
