At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
