We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
