No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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