Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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