in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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