I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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