i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
