I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
