i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
