my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
