Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This is my gift to your gina
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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