i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
