Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
