"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
