ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
