I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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