I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I fill condoms, not promises.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
