I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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