yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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