I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
