"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize