I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
