I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
