Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
