hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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