I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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