Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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