I want to make a zoo with you.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
