Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
