I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
