im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You are a genius and a whore.
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