isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
