Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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