okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i out mim tonsoeep
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